Fasting Lesson: Willpower

I am on Day 17 of my 40 day fast.  I am so proud of myself.  I have been sticking to my diet.  I am at a point where food (meat) doesn't matter to me.  When I first began this fast, a KFC commercial had me drooling and so tempted but today I can go to KFC, order my veggies and bounce. 

One thing I have learned through fasting is the power of the mind.  I feel powerful when I exert self control.  When my mind tells my flesh "No!"  It's a No!

Everything I thought had a hold on me -- DOESN'T.  I have learned that I have the ability to do whatever I put my mind to.  I can overcome all challenges, in all areas of my life because I am truly powerful beyond measure.

~still chasing honey

Check out my article at . . .

The Coil Review

I wrote this article a while back but it's being featured for the entire month of March.  I love The Coil Review E-Mag! 

Let me know what you think. 

Thanks for your support.  Also you can check out my headshot on the Writer's Page. 

still chasing honey

I am featured on . . .

Naturally Fabulous

My friend and follower Brandiss co-runs this dope site.  Check out my interview here. 

I have some other "gigs" but I will let you know as soon as they are up. 

Take Care!

And so it begins . . .

Today marks Day 1 of my 40 day of Prayer and Fasting. 

I am doing the Daniel Fast.  Thus, I am only eating fruit, vegtables, and water.

“In those days I, Daniel, was mourning three full weeks. I ate no pleasant food, no meat or wine came into my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled.”

Daniel 10:2, 3

Lent is a period of fasting and penitence (self-examination and repentance) during which observers have historically eaten sparingly.

It is a form of emulation of Jesus' example in His 40-day Fast in the wilderness of Judaea in preparation for his public ministry.

You can use the time to pray for your personal ministry, your family, or whatever you feel led to pray for.

One way to observe Lent is to "deny yourself" in some way regarding food and drink (a "partial fast" of eating less than usual, or temporarily "giving up" desserts, meat, a meal, or whatever you may choose) and to replace this with extra time devoted to prayer and Bible reading/study, or the reading of a Christian book. 

And so it begins, fighting my daily temptations of oreos and vanilla ice cream.  But I am determined to make this work, I truly believe that engaging in this sacrifice will reveal great things to me.

i wasn't created to date interracially

Okay so I’ve thought long and hard about this.


I’m just not cut out for dating interracially.

I’m not that black girl that fits that “mold.” There are black women that do fit the “mold”, God just didn't create me like that.

In my mind I just don’t think that a white man can love me like a brother. I mean I’ve tried to open myself up to this idea, but when I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t think that I am what a white man would sincerely love better yet find truly beautiful. And honestly, I have never been sexually attracted to a white man. Justin Timberlake is cute, but I can't see myself smashing him. All of my "dreams" have been about black men. My mind can't conceive making love to a white man.

About a month or so ago a white Frenchmen tried to talk to me outside of Whole Foods. And as much as I wanted to feel like his compliments were genuine, my gut told me another story. My gut said, "That kracka (that's how my gut talks) ain't trying to get to know you, he wants to FUCK you!" Sorry for the vulgarity. I really felt that he was attracted to me because he saw me as exotic -- hailing from the Caribbean with dreadlocks and a slight accent. I told him my parents were from Haiti and he seemed to fall more for me. He even said some crap about his ex being Haitian. I wonder if she had that good good, and maybe he thought I had some too. I thanked him for his kind words and got in my car and vroomed outta there.

But I left that conversation, first excited that someone had hit on me (HEY don't judge me. Every woman wants to be hit on! If you don't -- you AINT woman. Being hit on kinda affirms that you still got it!) And then confused -- disgusted.

I really look at myself in the mirror and I am very happy with the reflection that stares back. A black woman with big lips, loc'ed tresses, and hella bourghetto ways! That's me and I love all of ME. I'm not sure that I could find a white man that would love me just the way I am. So I've come to the conclusion that I'm not fit for an interracial relationship.

been chasin' chocolate honey

the good, the bad, and the ugly

i tried everything in my attempt to give up deodorant (if you missed my journey go here, here, and here for more information).

so the saga continued  . . .

Then, one day I was lookin too fine and feelin so sexy UNTIL I raised my hands and nearly fell out from the stank that double smacked me in my face! 

Enough was enough. Ya'll can't say that I didn't try. 

I left work IMMEDIATELY and went to the nearest Walgreens to seek additional protection.

The problem with my homemade deodorant is that it wasn't strong enough to fight the sweat, which caused the hideous odor. 

HOWEVER I will be going back to the drawing board.  You never know I may create the next natural deodorant.

I did purchase some natural deodorant at Walgreens.  It's called Tom's of Maine Natural Care Deodorant Stick.  Tom's is Aluminum-free, it contains no artificial or animal ingredients, and it is effective, long lasting, and natural.  I purchased it on sale for about $4.  It is definitely worth it.

The moral of the story is to pick yourself up after being knocked down by your stanking self and try something stronger.  lol.

still chasing honey . . .

i'm going through some changes

a month ago
A:  would you date a white man?
iamkamilah:  NOPE!

today
A: would you date a white man?
iamkamilah:  where he at?!?!


still chasing honey . . .

Mo Money, Mo Money, Mo Money

This year I have been working on managing my money.  I'm not a pocket pincher by any means, but I have come to the point in my life where I categorize things as either necessity or want.  Here are a few ways I save money:

1.  I do my own mani/pedi.  yes i know, who doesn't want to be pampered.  but do you know how much you save.  i use to go to the nail salon every 2 weeks.  now i do my own thang.  i have nail clippers, nail filers, cuticle nippers, polish, everything I need to do it myself.  today, i did tell myself that i would go to the nail salon because i was feeling lazy.  but i will only do that a few times in the year.  i haven't been to the salon in about 6 months and my nails are on point - don't get it twisted.  i do my sister's mani/pedi.  Dont know how to go to the best resource ---- YOUTUBE!

2.  check out your local thrift store, marshalls, target, ross, sale and clearance rack.  you can't tell me nothing.  i love clothes but i really love them when i get a great bargain.  my mom is in the second hand clothing business so she is always striking gold.  my mom has given me so many nice outfits from the thrift store.  just yesterday she gave me a dress (that was never worn) that had a price tag of $209.00 and she brought it for about fifty cents yes FIFTY CENTS!  dont sleep on the thrift store/target/marshalls/ross/etc.  they have the bomb stuff, just go to these location when the kiddies are at school and the adults are at work.  you find the best stuff when you are focused!

3.  bring lunch from home.  pack your own lunch.  thank God for my momma! my momma cooks food every day, we can have leftovers in the fridge and she will cook more food.  Crazy, i know but thank God for my momma.  I bring my own food to work, so I don't have to spend money during lunchtime.  Eating out every day adds up. 

I'm trying to get in the habit of working in the realm of necessity. Do I really need new winter boots when I live in Miami? Really. These are questions you need to ask yourself. In what realm are you working in? Want? Emotions? Implusiveness?


still chasin' money honey!

DIY Homemade Deodorant

ya'll remember when i told ya'll i stopped using deodorants (here and here)-- i did. stopped.  finito.  fine'.  done.

omg, it's been a long and stinky hard road -- but worth every moment of it.

i got a recipe and decided to test it out.  you can view it here. 

so far, so good.  it smells like yummies and my sweating is controlled. 

i still sweat but it's absorbed by the cornstarch and neutralized by the baking soda. 

speaking about sweat.  i promise to God i have never sweat like that before . . . in my entire life. 

i was never that girl with the armpit sweat stains.  so when i started sweating like i was living in a sauna, i was like where the hell did this come from.  maybe years of not sweating? scary.

i must admit, i am very happy to know that I STILL WORK.  the way that my body is supposed to function, it is functiong . 

wearing aluminum based deodorant messes up the process.  now my toxins are being released and i feel like i'm working again. 

i liken this experience to someone not pooping anymore.  you should really be concerned if you don't poop anymore.  RIGHT?

anyways, i just wanted to let you know that I did make some deodorant and in 15 days, I will give you the full scoop!

still chasing honey . . .

Be Where I Am . . .

hello peeps!

these days i am all over the web. 

follow me on twitter: iamkamilah

on youtube i do natural hair tutorials:  iamkamilah

want to see my pictorial natural hair journey:  http://members.fotki.com/iamkamilah

my hair blog:  http://www.thelocdiaries.wordpress.com/  (if you or anyone you know has loc's and want to be featured on this blog hit me up at iamkamilah@gmail.com, and i will fwd some questions.  I would love to have you!)

my personal blog: http://www.theartofres.blogspot.com/

104 Things I Could Do With 104 Dollars

today, i went window shopping -- okay it was supposed to be window shopping but it turned into just plain oh shopping.  i drove to aventura to go to best buy ONLY to buy a new charger for my laptop (don't ask why just follow). so i get the guy to show me to the chargers and guess how much the charger was?  yea, i was thinking 30.00 no more than 50.00.  I guess this was a recession.  The damn charger was $104.99.  Yes $104.99! 

Ya'll know what i did.  TURNED AROUND and left the damn store.  Yo, I have 104 things I can do with $104 and buying a charger aint it. 

dreams

i have the craziest dreams ever.  i need to start documenting them.  some nights i have 4 different dreams that i remember in full detail, but after a couple of days i forget them.  i never understand what they mean.  maybe you all can help me decode them.  maybe they don't mean anything, right? can't we just have meaningless dreams?

The Loc Diaries

so i am moving in another direction.  i have created another site dedicated exclusively to locks.  check it out at http://thelocdiaries.wordpress.com/.  tell me what you think.

don't cry im not leaving this site just yet.  so keep checking me out her and on wordpress. 

luv ya'll!

Happy Turkey Day

hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving day.  i must say that i am thankful for you and your continued support! be blessed my ppl!

Update: Homemade Deodorant

uhm . . .


i smell so bad, i make Right Guard turn left, Speed Stick slow down, Secret obvious, and Sure confused.

my armpits smell so bad that the teacher gave me an A just for not raising my hand.

i smell so bad that if there were ass scented air freshiners my face would be on them


so ya'll know that i am currently at the drawing board.  stay tuned for the aluminum free adventures of me and my sweaty pits!

Aloe is Heaven Sent

I already told ya'll about aloe and it's amazing benefits.  But let me tell give you a personal testimony. 

I have atopic eczema.  People who suffer from this form of eczema usually have asthma.  I have itchy rashes on my inner and outer elbows, my neck, and behind my knees.  This is my second outbreak.  The first was when I was a junior in high school.  I itch like a manged dog.  I tell you the truth.  And the rashes are so embarassing.  I'm wearing damn turtle necks and it feels like summer.  I'm a mess.  Anywho, I've tried everything to get rid of it and it just seemed to get worst.  But thank God for my country ass Haitian parents.  They have been telling me for the longest that they have the answer, but me and my stubborn ass were so resistant.  Needless to say, my parents were right . . . AGAIN!  And what's so sad is the fact that I bragged about Aloe and its healing properties and didn't even consider using it until my mom forced it upon me. 

When enough, was enough I told my mom, "I'm ready!" She went to the back yard and got the aloe (I come from a line of farmers so we got everything in the backyard).  She blended that sucka baby up, put some EVOO (extra virgin olive oil) in it and WHAM BAM THANKYA GOD for creating such goodness. 

For the past week I have been putting it on my rashes and when I tell you they have been clearing up -- they have been clearing up.  I need to do a PA about it!  You don't have to suffer anymore, and you don't have to spend your time and money at the doctor's office trying these ineffective meds.  Trust me when I tell you, grow some damn ALOE in your backyard. 

I am so serious when I tell you that ALOE is the TRUTH!  When my sisters and I were young my parents tried to make us eat it.  My dad eats it -- I ain't that gangsta yet but with these results I am deeply considering a weekly dosage. 

Final Words:  Thank God for Aloe!

~ I think I found my honey

Do You Have A Scar? How Did You Get It?

when i was in elementary school (maybe 3rd grade) my sisters and i walked to school with our neighbors.  so every morning our neighbors would come to our house and call for us to come out to walk to school.  one day they came on our porch and knocked on my room's glass window.  i went to the window to see who was knocking and once i pulled back the curtain, Fritz (one of neighbors kids) knocked on the window so hard, it broke and a piece of glass flew and cut the skin near the inner part of my eye.  needless to say it really hurt and it created a scar.  i use to be very self-conscious about it now i forget that i even have it. 

do you have a war wound? how did you get it? are you self-conscious or do you hardly notice it?

May It Please The Court: Juveniles and Life Sentences

On Monday the Supreme Court heard arguments on whether life without the chance of parole violated the Eighth Admendents prohibition againd cruel and unusual punishment. Other than in death penalty cases, the justices never before have found that a penalty crossed the cruel-and-unusual line.

Of 111 such juveniles nationwide, 77 of them are in Florida, with the rest spread across only six other states.

The two cases before the SC come from Joe Sullivan and Terrence Graham.  Sullivan was sent away for life for raping an elderly woman when he was 13.  Graham was given a life sentence after being implicated in armed robberies when he was 16 and 17.

Not Having the Time of My Life :(

i am so upset
i missed an important call
shaking my damn head

No. 100

Lifers this is blog number 100! 

Do you see the fireworks? 
Do you hear the trumpets blowing? 
(Use your imagination ppl! lol!)

In dedication to my 100th post.  I've decided to tell you 100 things about myself. 

100.  It all started when I was in the third grade.