It's been a while. Ya'll havent heard from me since March. My bad. lol.
But I've been contemplating what I wanted to do with this blog site.
I'm still not sure. I definitely still want to blog, but I have to think about what that entails.
As you all know, I have 2 blog sites and a youtube channel. So I'm thinking do, I just want to do vids, or just blog, or do 1 blog and vids. So I've been contemplating what I'm going to do.
Maybe I'll change the focus of this blog. Idk. Still thinking. Maybe this blog won't exist. Idk. Still thinking.
So much to think about.
But thank you for your patience. I should know something really soon.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Great Read: Relationship Commentary: Jill Scott Talks Interracial Dating
Jill talks interracial dating on Essence.com. She will also be on the front cover of Essence's May issue. Go pick it up. Jill is photographed at home with her 9-month-old son Jett, as she opens up about the difficult road that led her to single motherhood, the sister circle that helps her get by, and the perfect life she enjoys today.
My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy. He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman. I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped. But something in me just knew he didn't marry a sister. Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit...wince. I didn't immediately understand it. My face read happy for you. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress.
Was I jealous? Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul's credibility? The answer is not simple. One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that's not how I was brought up. I was reared in a Jehovah's Witness household. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me. African people worldwide are known to be welcoming and open-minded. We share our culture sometimes to our own peril and most of us love the very notion of love. My position is that for women of color, this very common "wince" has solely to do with the African story in America.
When our people were enslaved, "Massa" placed his Caucasian woman on a pedestal. She was spoiled, revered and angelic, while the Black slave woman was overworked, beaten, raped and farmed out like cattle to be mated. She was nothing and neither was our Black man. As slavery died for the greater good of America, and the movement for equality sputtered to life, the White woman was on the cover of every American magazine. She was the dazzling jewel on every movie screen, the glory of every commercial and television show. She was unequivocally the standard of beauty for this country, firmly unattainable to anyone not of her race. We daughters of the dust were seen as ugly, nappy mammies, good for day work and unwanted children, while our men were thought to be thieving, sex-hungry animals with limited brain capacity.
We reflect on this awful past and recall that if a Black man even looked at a White woman, he would have been lynched, beaten, jailed or shot to death. In the midst of this, Black women and Black men struggled together, mourned together, starved together, braved the hoses and vicious police dogs and died untimely on southern back roads together. These harsh truths lead to what we really feel when we see a seemingly together brother with a Caucasian woman and their children. That feeling is betrayed. While we exert efforts to raise our sons and daughters to appreciate themselves and respect others, most of us end up doing this important work alone, with no fathers or like representatives, limited financial support (often court-enforced) and, on top of everything else, an empty bed. It's frustrating and it hurts!
Our minds do understand that people of all races find genuine love in many places. We dig that the world is full of amazing options. But underneath, there is a bite, no matter the ointment, that has yet to stop burning. Some may find these thoughts to be hurtful. That is not my intent. I'm just sayin'.
Have you experienced "the wince" Jill speaks of? Let me know your thoughts.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Fasting Lesson 2: You can't have everything
I don't know why I feel like my sight and sound seem more clear. The bible says that God communes with us during our time of fasting. So I thank God for sending people my way to teach me life lessons.
I've always heard the saying "You can't have everything!" and I believed in its words but to a smaller degree. About some weeks ago I was talking to a co-worker who kept saying, "You can't have everything!" She is in her late 40's married without children. She wanted children but because she married late in age she was unable to have any. She said she could have easily laid up with someone to have a baby but that was totally against who she was. Although she always dreamt of a husband and children she never had a chance to experience it. From the conversation I knew that there was a hidden sadness but she had to move on and appreciate what she does have.
I thought about my life and the things I want to have now and in the future. I want to have an excellent career, I want a certain someone to be my husband, I want some children, I want my family to live forever, I want to be a millionaire, I want to be a size _, I want a Range Rover, I want bigger breasts, I want some tattoos, I want a nose piercing, I want to own property domestically as well as internationally, I want to open a shoe store, I want a damn soda with some jerk chicken! And I want it all for you too. But the reality is I CAN'T have it all, You can't have it all, No one can.
We read these articles about rich people committing suicide or some actress who jumps from relationship to relationship searching for something but always falling short. So it doesn't matter how much money you have or how pretty you are, you'll never have everything you want. Money can buy a lot of stuff but it can't buy everything.
I am learning to be content with what I have and appreciating the people in my life and the little that I have. I appreciate my job (as hood as it is), my family (they all crazy but I swear to you I have the best family in the world), my car (that I've had for 8 years -- it hasn't fialed me yet), my itty bitty titties (no back problems and I can go without a bra), my room at my parents house (rent free, dinner every night), my singledom (knowing that I can live without a man, I can still survive if I don't get married), and my water and fish (i ain't dead yet).
still chasing honey
I've always heard the saying "You can't have everything!" and I believed in its words but to a smaller degree. About some weeks ago I was talking to a co-worker who kept saying, "You can't have everything!" She is in her late 40's married without children. She wanted children but because she married late in age she was unable to have any. She said she could have easily laid up with someone to have a baby but that was totally against who she was. Although she always dreamt of a husband and children she never had a chance to experience it. From the conversation I knew that there was a hidden sadness but she had to move on and appreciate what she does have.
I thought about my life and the things I want to have now and in the future. I want to have an excellent career, I want a certain someone to be my husband, I want some children, I want my family to live forever, I want to be a millionaire, I want to be a size _, I want a Range Rover, I want bigger breasts, I want some tattoos, I want a nose piercing, I want to own property domestically as well as internationally, I want to open a shoe store, I want a damn soda with some jerk chicken! And I want it all for you too. But the reality is I CAN'T have it all, You can't have it all, No one can.
We read these articles about rich people committing suicide or some actress who jumps from relationship to relationship searching for something but always falling short. So it doesn't matter how much money you have or how pretty you are, you'll never have everything you want. Money can buy a lot of stuff but it can't buy everything.
I am learning to be content with what I have and appreciating the people in my life and the little that I have. I appreciate my job (as hood as it is), my family (they all crazy but I swear to you I have the best family in the world), my car (that I've had for 8 years -- it hasn't fialed me yet), my itty bitty titties (no back problems and I can go without a bra), my room at my parents house (rent free, dinner every night), my singledom (knowing that I can live without a man, I can still survive if I don't get married), and my water and fish (i ain't dead yet).
still chasing honey
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Great Read: Keep Your Hands Off The Hair
Here is a story from NPR about Black women hair being a magnet to white hands
Today, we hear from Tell Me More guest host Allison Keyes.
This week we're going to talk about hair. To touch — or not to touch, that is the question.
And as far as I'm concerned the answer is nearly always, no.
OK — let me explain why this really annoys me.
I'm African-American, and I wear my hair natural. That means in an Afro, or in twists, or some other style that showcases my kinky hair in the tight curls in which it grows from my scalp. It is not chemically straightened. In other words — think India.Arie — NOT Beyonce!
And for the past few weeks, I've been rocking an Afro puff: a round fluffy puff perched atop a braided or twisted up-do. It is fierce!
And I must admit — the texture does look inviting to touch. But walking up and palming my puff?! Particularly without permission? Can I Just Tell YOU — speaking colloquially — that is not cool.
I think it is a race issue — as well as a personal space issue. The space issue seems obvious. I see it as a violation as unwanted as those who approach pregnant women — hands out — and start rubbing their bellies.
The race issue is a little more tricky.
For example, I was walking one day recently, puff held high, when a white woman walked up and just grabbed it — cooing, "Oh that's so cute!"
Fighting back my impulse to grab her wrist, I simply stepped back and growled, "Don't touch my hair!"
She reared back, offended, "Well, I don't see what the big deal is!"
That response is exactly the problem.
In what realm of reality is it OK to walk up to a person and — without her permission — lay your hands on her body?
I took a look around Google, wondering about the basis for this distaste that I and many other African-Americans have to acquaintances, co-workers or — most infuriating — strangers, just walking up and grasping away.
On blog after blog, black women railed about the rudeness of folk just walking up and touching their hair.
On another site, womanist-musings.com, in an article called "Can I Touch Your Hair? Black Women and The Petting Zoo," the author noted, "Today white people still feel that they have the right to our bodies." She went on to say, "My blackness and your curiosity does not give you the right to touch me."
Let's have a reality check here. For hundreds of years, whites had permission to do anything they wanted to black people, and that includes things far worse than touching our hair.
Even now, there are still those pesky signs of disrespect, like a white person calling a woman old enough to be their grandmother by her first name. Is it because she's black and therefore doesn't deserve the respect of a title? Don't both acts send a signal that black people are still objects to be treated as one pleases — all without said object's permission?
One Web site actually suggested that blacks try humor or self-deprecation to assuage the hurt feelings of the offended person who has just forcibly touched them. But I think, what you ought to do, is keep your hands outta my hair, unless I invite you to touch it. Whether it's a $1,000 hair weave, a 10-inch Afro or an Afro puff ... watch out! There could be a mousetrap in there — or worse!
That way, no one's fingers will be injured.
____________________________________________________
I personally hate when anyone invades my space, so don't you dare think about petting my hair! To me it is a huge sign of disrespect for people to think they have the right to touch any part of a person without permission. What have been your experience? Do you mind people touching your hair? Do you mind white people touching your hair? Why do you think they do it?
Today, we hear from Tell Me More guest host Allison Keyes.
This week we're going to talk about hair. To touch — or not to touch, that is the question.
And as far as I'm concerned the answer is nearly always, no.
OK — let me explain why this really annoys me.
I'm African-American, and I wear my hair natural. That means in an Afro, or in twists, or some other style that showcases my kinky hair in the tight curls in which it grows from my scalp. It is not chemically straightened. In other words — think India.Arie — NOT Beyonce!
And for the past few weeks, I've been rocking an Afro puff: a round fluffy puff perched atop a braided or twisted up-do. It is fierce!
And I must admit — the texture does look inviting to touch. But walking up and palming my puff?! Particularly without permission? Can I Just Tell YOU — speaking colloquially — that is not cool.
I think it is a race issue — as well as a personal space issue. The space issue seems obvious. I see it as a violation as unwanted as those who approach pregnant women — hands out — and start rubbing their bellies.
The race issue is a little more tricky.
For example, I was walking one day recently, puff held high, when a white woman walked up and just grabbed it — cooing, "Oh that's so cute!"
Fighting back my impulse to grab her wrist, I simply stepped back and growled, "Don't touch my hair!"
She reared back, offended, "Well, I don't see what the big deal is!"
That response is exactly the problem.
In what realm of reality is it OK to walk up to a person and — without her permission — lay your hands on her body?
I took a look around Google, wondering about the basis for this distaste that I and many other African-Americans have to acquaintances, co-workers or — most infuriating — strangers, just walking up and grasping away.
On blog after blog, black women railed about the rudeness of folk just walking up and touching their hair.
On another site, womanist-musings.com, in an article called "Can I Touch Your Hair? Black Women and The Petting Zoo," the author noted, "Today white people still feel that they have the right to our bodies." She went on to say, "My blackness and your curiosity does not give you the right to touch me."
Let's have a reality check here. For hundreds of years, whites had permission to do anything they wanted to black people, and that includes things far worse than touching our hair.
Even now, there are still those pesky signs of disrespect, like a white person calling a woman old enough to be their grandmother by her first name. Is it because she's black and therefore doesn't deserve the respect of a title? Don't both acts send a signal that black people are still objects to be treated as one pleases — all without said object's permission?
One Web site actually suggested that blacks try humor or self-deprecation to assuage the hurt feelings of the offended person who has just forcibly touched them. But I think, what you ought to do, is keep your hands outta my hair, unless I invite you to touch it. Whether it's a $1,000 hair weave, a 10-inch Afro or an Afro puff ... watch out! There could be a mousetrap in there — or worse!
That way, no one's fingers will be injured.
____________________________________________________
I personally hate when anyone invades my space, so don't you dare think about petting my hair! To me it is a huge sign of disrespect for people to think they have the right to touch any part of a person without permission. What have been your experience? Do you mind people touching your hair? Do you mind white people touching your hair? Why do you think they do it?
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Great Read: What Men Think of Our Beauty Rituals
by Tia Williams
Posted on Essence
Since the very first cavewoman caught her reflection in a puddle and was like, "I really need to do something about my brows," women have expended great amounts of energy on the pursuit of beauty. And if we're talking about heterosexual women, one would assume that they're primping to attract the opposite sex, right? So, we decided to conduct our own informal survey of 20 and 30-something men to find out, once and for all, what they really think of our beauty rituals. You'll wonder why you make an effort at all!
THE WEAVE SITUATION
In this progressive day and age, when weaves are ubiquitous, we were surprised to learn that many men are still not down for fake hair. "I had an incident with a fake ponytail in the late '90s, and I haven't even approached a non-real-hair woman since," says William, a consultant in Richmond. "Weaves make me feel like, if she's faking on her hair, what else is she faking on?" Duane, a Washington DC attorney cosigns, saying, "A weave is a major turnoff for me. I'm big on how a woman's hair smells and I've never met a weave that smelled good."
BRAZILIAN WAX
The Brazilian bikini wax (ie, the one where almost everything goes) drew mixed reactions among our focus group. Trinidad-based photographer Wyatt said they were a must, while Kyle, a Brooklyn writer, said the bald-and-beautiful look was nice, but not necessary. Duane agreed, saying, "Brazilians are sexy on porn stars, but to be honest, I don't want my woman to look like a porn star. " Little do the men know that, aesthetically it may be pleasing for them, but many women go bare because A.) it makes them feel thinner, and B) friction-less sex is everything.
FOUNDATION
Foundation seems to be a no-no, as well. "It's the biggest turn-off possible," says Wyatt. "Invest in good skin care instead of caking this on! I don't like my models to wear it in shoots, either." Jim, a Miami area surgeon, finds it to be a distraction. "It's scary when a woman's face is one color and her neck is another. What's that all about?" Meanwhile, William isn't mad at the actual foundation, he just hates it when it gets all over his sink. "I'm a little OCD," he admits. Detroit-based musician Tyrone told us, "Drake said it best: 'Sweat pants, hair tied, chillin' with no makeup on...that's when you're the prettiest, I hope that you don't take it wrong.'"
LIP GLOSS
Whether it's shimmery or sheer, or bold vs. pale, we are definitely addicted to applying lip gloss (in fact, in a recent ESSENCE poll, gloss was named the one makeup item that women can't live without). Sadly, the men we polled didn't share the same enthusiasm. "It makes me feel like a weird old lady at church just kissed me," says William. "It needs to wear off before I get a kiss." And when it comes to the trendy new lip-plumping glosses infused with circulation-jolting cinnamon and pepper, men are truly baffled. "I mean, a little tingle is cool, but I don't wanna feel like I just kissed a plate of hot sauce," said Duane. Texas-based businessman Laurence says, "There's tingly lip gloss? I think a woman should have fun with that. Like, tell some guy that her lips are literally electric, and then kiss him and be like, 'Check mate!'"
SUMMARY
So generally, it looks like even though men want us to look nice, noticable makeup and fake hair can be a turn-off. Now, here's the thing: Most of the women we know wear makeup, and a good amount have rocked weaves--and, as of yet, they've never had a problem attracting or keeping men. "We can say we want our women to be au naturale," says Al, a California dentist, "but the truth is, we really have no idea what secret tricks you guys pull. If you're fly, men don't care about all this stuff." To test the theory, we showed three men a red carpet shot of Meagan Good rocking neutral makeup. Every single one of the men oohed and ahhed over her "natural" beauty "See? She's not wearing a stitch of makeup, and she's gorgeous," says Kevin, a New York investment banker. The truth is, Good was wearing a face full of makeup...and a weave. What they don't know won't hurt them.
Women: What are your beauty rituals? How does your mate react to them?
Men: What are your thoughts on beauty rituals?
Posted on Essence
Since the very first cavewoman caught her reflection in a puddle and was like, "I really need to do something about my brows," women have expended great amounts of energy on the pursuit of beauty. And if we're talking about heterosexual women, one would assume that they're primping to attract the opposite sex, right? So, we decided to conduct our own informal survey of 20 and 30-something men to find out, once and for all, what they really think of our beauty rituals. You'll wonder why you make an effort at all!
THE WEAVE SITUATION
In this progressive day and age, when weaves are ubiquitous, we were surprised to learn that many men are still not down for fake hair. "I had an incident with a fake ponytail in the late '90s, and I haven't even approached a non-real-hair woman since," says William, a consultant in Richmond. "Weaves make me feel like, if she's faking on her hair, what else is she faking on?" Duane, a Washington DC attorney cosigns, saying, "A weave is a major turnoff for me. I'm big on how a woman's hair smells and I've never met a weave that smelled good."
BRAZILIAN WAX
The Brazilian bikini wax (ie, the one where almost everything goes) drew mixed reactions among our focus group. Trinidad-based photographer Wyatt said they were a must, while Kyle, a Brooklyn writer, said the bald-and-beautiful look was nice, but not necessary. Duane agreed, saying, "Brazilians are sexy on porn stars, but to be honest, I don't want my woman to look like a porn star. " Little do the men know that, aesthetically it may be pleasing for them, but many women go bare because A.) it makes them feel thinner, and B) friction-less sex is everything.
FOUNDATION
Foundation seems to be a no-no, as well. "It's the biggest turn-off possible," says Wyatt. "Invest in good skin care instead of caking this on! I don't like my models to wear it in shoots, either." Jim, a Miami area surgeon, finds it to be a distraction. "It's scary when a woman's face is one color and her neck is another. What's that all about?" Meanwhile, William isn't mad at the actual foundation, he just hates it when it gets all over his sink. "I'm a little OCD," he admits. Detroit-based musician Tyrone told us, "Drake said it best: 'Sweat pants, hair tied, chillin' with no makeup on...that's when you're the prettiest, I hope that you don't take it wrong.'"
LIP GLOSS
Whether it's shimmery or sheer, or bold vs. pale, we are definitely addicted to applying lip gloss (in fact, in a recent ESSENCE poll, gloss was named the one makeup item that women can't live without). Sadly, the men we polled didn't share the same enthusiasm. "It makes me feel like a weird old lady at church just kissed me," says William. "It needs to wear off before I get a kiss." And when it comes to the trendy new lip-plumping glosses infused with circulation-jolting cinnamon and pepper, men are truly baffled. "I mean, a little tingle is cool, but I don't wanna feel like I just kissed a plate of hot sauce," said Duane. Texas-based businessman Laurence says, "There's tingly lip gloss? I think a woman should have fun with that. Like, tell some guy that her lips are literally electric, and then kiss him and be like, 'Check mate!'"
SUMMARY
So generally, it looks like even though men want us to look nice, noticable makeup and fake hair can be a turn-off. Now, here's the thing: Most of the women we know wear makeup, and a good amount have rocked weaves--and, as of yet, they've never had a problem attracting or keeping men. "We can say we want our women to be au naturale," says Al, a California dentist, "but the truth is, we really have no idea what secret tricks you guys pull. If you're fly, men don't care about all this stuff." To test the theory, we showed three men a red carpet shot of Meagan Good rocking neutral makeup. Every single one of the men oohed and ahhed over her "natural" beauty "See? She's not wearing a stitch of makeup, and she's gorgeous," says Kevin, a New York investment banker. The truth is, Good was wearing a face full of makeup...and a weave. What they don't know won't hurt them.
Women: What are your beauty rituals? How does your mate react to them?
Men: What are your thoughts on beauty rituals?
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Fasting Lesson: Willpower
I am on Day 17 of my 40 day fast. I am so proud of myself. I have been sticking to my diet. I am at a point where food (meat) doesn't matter to me. When I first began this fast, a KFC commercial had me drooling and so tempted but today I can go to KFC, order my veggies and bounce.
One thing I have learned through fasting is the power of the mind. I feel powerful when I exert self control. When my mind tells my flesh "No!" It's a No!
Everything I thought had a hold on me -- DOESN'T. I have learned that I have the ability to do whatever I put my mind to. I can overcome all challenges, in all areas of my life because I am truly powerful beyond measure.
~still chasing honey
One thing I have learned through fasting is the power of the mind. I feel powerful when I exert self control. When my mind tells my flesh "No!" It's a No!
Everything I thought had a hold on me -- DOESN'T. I have learned that I have the ability to do whatever I put my mind to. I can overcome all challenges, in all areas of my life because I am truly powerful beyond measure.
~still chasing honey
Monday, March 1, 2010
Check out my article at . . .
The Coil Review
I wrote this article a while back but it's being featured for the entire month of March. I love The Coil Review E-Mag!
Let me know what you think.
Thanks for your support. Also you can check out my headshot on the Writer's Page.
still chasing honey
I wrote this article a while back but it's being featured for the entire month of March. I love The Coil Review E-Mag!
Let me know what you think.
Thanks for your support. Also you can check out my headshot on the Writer's Page.
still chasing honey
Sunday, February 28, 2010
I am featured on . . .
Naturally Fabulous
My friend and follower Brandiss co-runs this dope site. Check out my interview here.
I have some other "gigs" but I will let you know as soon as they are up.
Take Care!
My friend and follower Brandiss co-runs this dope site. Check out my interview here.
I have some other "gigs" but I will let you know as soon as they are up.
Take Care!
Monday, February 22, 2010
And so it begins . . .
I am doing the Daniel Fast. Thus, I am only eating fruit, vegtables, and water.
“In those days I, Daniel, was mourning three full weeks. I ate no pleasant food, no meat or wine came into my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled.”
Daniel 10:2, 3
Lent is a period of fasting and penitence (self-examination and repentance) during which observers have historically eaten sparingly.
It is a form of emulation of Jesus' example in His 40-day Fast in the wilderness of Judaea in preparation for his public ministry.
You can use the time to pray for your personal ministry, your family, or whatever you feel led to pray for.
One way to observe Lent is to "deny yourself" in some way regarding food and drink (a "partial fast" of eating less than usual, or temporarily "giving up" desserts, meat, a meal, or whatever you may choose) and to replace this with extra time devoted to prayer and Bible reading/study, or the reading of a Christian book.
And so it begins, fighting my daily temptations of oreos and vanilla ice cream. But I am determined to make this work, I truly believe that engaging in this sacrifice will reveal great things to me.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
i wasn't created to date interracially
Okay so I’ve thought long and hard about this.
I’m just not cut out for dating interracially.
I’m not that black girl that fits that “mold.” There are black women that do fit the “mold”, God just didn't create me like that.
In my mind I just don’t think that a white man can love me like a brother. I mean I’ve tried to open myself up to this idea, but when I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t think that I am what a white man would sincerely love better yet find truly beautiful. And honestly, I have never been sexually attracted to a white man. Justin Timberlake is cute, but I can't see myself smashing him. All of my "dreams" have been about black men. My mind can't conceive making love to a white man.
About a month or so ago a white Frenchmen tried to talk to me outside of Whole Foods. And as much as I wanted to feel like his compliments were genuine, my gut told me another story. My gut said, "That kracka (that's how my gut talks) ain't trying to get to know you, he wants to FUCK you!"Sorry for the vulgarity. I really felt that he was attracted to me because he saw me as exotic -- hailing from the Caribbean with dreadlocks and a slight accent. I told him my parents were from Haiti and he seemed to fall more for me. He even said some crap about his ex being Haitian. I wonder if she had that good good, and maybe he thought I had some too. I thanked him for his kind words and got in my car and vroomed outta there.
But I left that conversation, first excited that someone had hit on me (HEY don't judge me. Every woman wants to be hit on! If you don't -- you AINT woman. Being hit on kinda affirms that you still got it!) And then confused -- disgusted.
I really look at myself in the mirror and I am very happy with the reflection that stares back. A black woman with big lips, loc'ed tresses, and hella bourghetto ways! That's me and I love all of ME. I'm not sure that I could find a white man that would love me just the way I am. So I've come to the conclusion that I'm not fit for an interracial relationship.
been chasin'chocolate honey
I’m just not cut out for dating interracially.
I’m not that black girl that fits that “mold.” There are black women that do fit the “mold”, God just didn't create me like that.
In my mind I just don’t think that a white man can love me like a brother. I mean I’ve tried to open myself up to this idea, but when I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t think that I am what a white man would sincerely love better yet find truly beautiful. And honestly, I have never been sexually attracted to a white man. Justin Timberlake is cute, but I can't see myself smashing him. All of my "dreams" have been about black men. My mind can't conceive making love to a white man.
About a month or so ago a white Frenchmen tried to talk to me outside of Whole Foods. And as much as I wanted to feel like his compliments were genuine, my gut told me another story. My gut said, "That kracka (that's how my gut talks) ain't trying to get to know you, he wants to FUCK you!"
But I left that conversation, first excited that someone had hit on me (HEY don't judge me. Every woman wants to be hit on! If you don't -- you AINT woman. Being hit on kinda affirms that you still got it!) And then confused -- disgusted.
I really look at myself in the mirror and I am very happy with the reflection that stares back. A black woman with big lips, loc'ed tresses, and hella bourghetto ways! That's me and I love all of ME. I'm not sure that I could find a white man that would love me just the way I am. So I've come to the conclusion that I'm not fit for an interracial relationship.
been chasin'
Monday, February 15, 2010
the good, the bad, and the ugly
i tried everything in my attempt to give up deodorant (if you missed my journey go here, here, and here for more information).
so the saga continued . . .
Then, one day I was lookin too fine and feelin so sexy UNTIL I raised my hands and nearly fell out from the stank that double smacked me in my face!
Enough was enough. Ya'll can't say that I didn't try.
I left work IMMEDIATELY and went to the nearest Walgreens to seek additional protection.
The problem with my homemade deodorant is that it wasn't strong enough to fight the sweat, which caused the hideous odor.
HOWEVER I will be going back to the drawing board. You never know I may create the next natural deodorant.
I did purchase some natural deodorant at Walgreens. It's called Tom's of Maine Natural Care Deodorant Stick. Tom's is Aluminum-free, it contains no artificial or animal ingredients, and it is effective, long lasting, and natural. I purchased it on sale for about $4. It is definitely worth it.
The moral of the story is to pick yourself up after being knocked down by your stanking self and try something stronger. lol.
still chasing honey . . .
so the saga continued . . .
Then, one day I was lookin too fine and feelin so sexy UNTIL I raised my hands and nearly fell out from the stank that double smacked me in my face!
Enough was enough. Ya'll can't say that I didn't try.
I left work IMMEDIATELY and went to the nearest Walgreens to seek additional protection.
The problem with my homemade deodorant is that it wasn't strong enough to fight the sweat, which caused the hideous odor.
HOWEVER I will be going back to the drawing board. You never know I may create the next natural deodorant.
I did purchase some natural deodorant at Walgreens. It's called Tom's of Maine Natural Care Deodorant Stick. Tom's is Aluminum-free, it contains no artificial or animal ingredients, and it is effective, long lasting, and natural. I purchased it on sale for about $4. It is definitely worth it.
The moral of the story is to pick yourself up after being knocked down by your stanking self and try something stronger. lol.
still chasing honey . . .
Sunday, February 14, 2010
i'm going through some changes
a month ago
A: would you date a white man?
iamkamilah: NOPE!
today
A: would you date a white man?
iamkamilah: where he at?!?!
still chasing honey . . .
A: would you date a white man?
iamkamilah: NOPE!
today
A: would you date a white man?
iamkamilah: where he at?!?!
still chasing honey . . .
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Mo Money, Mo Money, Mo Money
This year I have been working on managing my money. I'm not a pocket pincher by any means, but I have come to the point in my life where I categorize things as either necessity or want. Here are a few ways I save money:
1. I do my own mani/pedi. yes i know, who doesn't want to be pampered. but do you know how much you save. i use to go to the nail salon every 2 weeks. now i do my own thang. i have nail clippers, nail filers, cuticle nippers, polish, everything I need to do it myself. today, i did tell myself that i would go to the nail salon because i was feeling lazy. but i will only do that a few times in the year. i haven't been to the salon in about 6 months and my nails are on point - don't get it twisted. i do my sister's mani/pedi. Dont know how to go to the best resource ---- YOUTUBE!
2. check out your local thrift store, marshalls, target, ross, sale and clearance rack. you can't tell me nothing. i love clothes but i really love them when i get a great bargain. my mom is in the second hand clothing business so she is always striking gold. my mom has given me so many nice outfits from the thrift store. just yesterday she gave me a dress (that was never worn) that had a price tag of $209.00 and she brought it for about fifty cents yes FIFTY CENTS! dont sleep on the thrift store/target/marshalls/ross/etc. they have the bomb stuff, just go to these location when the kiddies are at school and the adults are at work. you find the best stuff when you are focused!
3. bring lunch from home. pack your own lunch. thank God for my momma! my momma cooks food every day, we can have leftovers in the fridge and she will cook more food. Crazy, i know but thank God for my momma. I bring my own food to work, so I don't have to spend money during lunchtime. Eating out every day adds up.
I'm trying to get in the habit of working in the realm of necessity. Do I really need new winter boots when I live in Miami? Really. These are questions you need to ask yourself. In what realm are you working in? Want? Emotions? Implusiveness?
still chasin'money honey!
1. I do my own mani/pedi. yes i know, who doesn't want to be pampered. but do you know how much you save. i use to go to the nail salon every 2 weeks. now i do my own thang. i have nail clippers, nail filers, cuticle nippers, polish, everything I need to do it myself. today, i did tell myself that i would go to the nail salon because i was feeling lazy. but i will only do that a few times in the year. i haven't been to the salon in about 6 months and my nails are on point - don't get it twisted. i do my sister's mani/pedi. Dont know how to go to the best resource ---- YOUTUBE!
2. check out your local thrift store, marshalls, target, ross, sale and clearance rack. you can't tell me nothing. i love clothes but i really love them when i get a great bargain. my mom is in the second hand clothing business so she is always striking gold. my mom has given me so many nice outfits from the thrift store. just yesterday she gave me a dress (that was never worn) that had a price tag of $209.00 and she brought it for about fifty cents yes FIFTY CENTS! dont sleep on the thrift store/target/marshalls/ross/etc. they have the bomb stuff, just go to these location when the kiddies are at school and the adults are at work. you find the best stuff when you are focused!
3. bring lunch from home. pack your own lunch. thank God for my momma! my momma cooks food every day, we can have leftovers in the fridge and she will cook more food. Crazy, i know but thank God for my momma. I bring my own food to work, so I don't have to spend money during lunchtime. Eating out every day adds up.
I'm trying to get in the habit of working in the realm of necessity. Do I really need new winter boots when I live in Miami? Really. These are questions you need to ask yourself. In what realm are you working in? Want? Emotions? Implusiveness?
still chasin'
Monday, January 18, 2010
Ayiti Update
I want to thank everyone who has comforted me during these hard times. I truly appreciate you! And to those who have given time and donations to this cause, the Haitian Community appreciates your generosity.
How proud would Dr. King be of our nation if he were alive today? During these times of suffering for Haiti, you have shown enormous genorsity and love towards our fellow Haitian man, woman, and child.
King's word are timeless. They ring ever true even today.
It's a recession, unemployment is at an high, and people are giving their last, to people they don't even know. The giving of your time and money is the perfect way to celebrate this King holdiay. King would be proud.An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.
Kembe la!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Kembe La Ayiti!
Hold on Ayiti!
As many of you may know, I am of Haitian descent. Both of my parents are from the island. My family is from St. Louis du Nord, about 8 hours away from Port-au-Prince. Just like the other millions of people who left the countryside in hopes of better opportunity in the capital, my remaining family members have done the same. Because a majority of my family has moved out of Haiti, the family that I do have left moved to the capital. My sister, her 3 children, my brother in law, and about 6 first cousins have resided in PAP for a long time. We have yet to hear from them. It’s a waiting game during these times of natural disater. So we are just waiting, hoping that the phone lines will clear up, hoping that the countrymen can institute relief efforts on their own while they wait for US aid.
So in the meantime, Kembe La, Ayiti!
I urge you to act. Help anyway you can: donate money, clothes, canned goods, shoes! Get the word out via twitter, facebook, text messages, youtube, myspace! Pray for the people on the island, Pray for more speedy relief efforts, Pray for peace.
iamkamilah
Monday, January 11, 2010
Stop Snitchin'
What are you thoughts about this "street code?" Stop Snitchin was a launched in Baltimore (get ya city, CPA!) in 2004. Baltimore Police then launched a campaign "Keep Talkin" which I think is bullshit to assure the community their safety from retaliation. Since I was born, this code, although unnamed was what I learned as well. The streets talk, so when someone was murdered you already knew who did it. You know the exact story, the entire sequence of events, who shot who, why, when, every single piece of detail before the ambulance arrives. What are your thoughts about this street code especially as it pertains to crimes against people (murder, rape, etc.)?
Friday, January 8, 2010
DIY Homemade Deodorant
ya'll remember when i told ya'll i stopped using deodorants (here and here)-- i did. stopped. finito. fine'. done.
omg, it's been a long andstinky hard road -- but worth every moment of it.
i got a recipe and decided to test it out. you can view it here.
so far, so good. it smells like yummies and my sweating is controlled.
i still sweat but it's absorbed by the cornstarch and neutralized by the baking soda.
speaking about sweat. i promise to God i have never sweat like that before . . . in my entire life.
i was never that girl with the armpit sweat stains. so when i started sweating like i was living in a sauna, i was like where the hell did this come from. maybe years of not sweating? scary.
i must admit, i am very happy to know that I STILL WORK. the way that my body is supposed to function, it is functiong.
wearing aluminum based deodorant messes up the process. now my toxins are being released and i feel like i'm working again.
i liken this experience to someone not pooping anymore. you should really be concerned if you don't poop anymore. RIGHT?
anyways, i just wanted to let you know that I did make some deodorant and in 15 days, I will give you the full scoop!
still chasing honey . . .
omg, it's been a long and
i got a recipe and decided to test it out. you can view it here.
so far, so good. it smells like yummies and my sweating is controlled.
i still sweat but it's absorbed by the cornstarch and neutralized by the baking soda.
speaking about sweat. i promise to God i have never sweat like that before . . . in my entire life.
i was never that girl with the armpit sweat stains. so when i started sweating like i was living in a sauna, i was like where the hell did this come from. maybe years of not sweating? scary.
i must admit, i am very happy to know that I STILL WORK. the way that my body is supposed to function, it is functiong
wearing aluminum based deodorant messes up the process. now my toxins are being released and i feel like i'm working again.
i liken this experience to someone not pooping anymore. you should really be concerned if you don't poop anymore. RIGHT?
anyways, i just wanted to let you know that I did make some deodorant and in 15 days, I will give you the full scoop!
still chasing honey . . .
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Be Where I Am . . .
hello peeps!these days i am all over the web.
follow me on twitter: iamkamilah
on youtube i do natural hair tutorials: iamkamilah
want to see my pictorial natural hair journey: http://members.fotki.com/iamkamilah
my hair blog: http://www.thelocdiaries.wordpress.com/ (if you or anyone you know has loc's and want to be featured on this blog hit me up at iamkamilah@gmail.com, and i will fwd some questions. I would love to have you!)
my personal blog: http://www.theartofres.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
The 13 Most Ridiculous Things About I Am...Yours
I like Beyonce -- sometimes like when she's real. And I'm usually never really LOL. But this made me chuckle!
104 Things I Could Do With 104 Dollars
today, i went window shopping -- okay it was supposed to be window shopping but it turned into just plain oh shopping. i drove to aventura to go to best buy ONLY to buy a new charger for my laptop (don't ask why just follow). so i get the guy to show me to the chargers and guess how much the charger was? yea, i was thinking 30.00 no more than 50.00. I guess this was a recession. The damn charger was $104.99. Yes $104.99!
Ya'll know what i did. TURNED AROUND and left the damn store. Yo, I have 104 things I can do with $104 and buying a charger aint it.
Ya'll know what i did. TURNED AROUND and left the damn store. Yo, I have 104 things I can do with $104 and buying a charger aint it.
Monday, January 4, 2010
dreams
i have the craziest dreams ever. i need to start documenting them. some nights i have 4 different dreams that i remember in full detail, but after a couple of days i forget them. i never understand what they mean. maybe you all can help me decode them. maybe they don't mean anything, right? can't we just have meaningless dreams?
Friday, January 1, 2010
Kwanzaa Day 7: Imani
On the seventh day the black candle is lit, then the farthest left red, the farthest right green, the next red candle, the next green, the final red and then the final green candle. This represents the 7th principle of Kwanzaa - Imani (ee-MAH-nee): Faith
This is the 7th, and final, day of Kwanzaa. Today we celebrate IMANI (Faith). Today we renew our BELIEF in God, our people, our teachers and our leaders, and the virtue and victory of our struggle IMANI!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)