GB: Know Thy Role

It has recently been brought to my attention that many of you put an exorbitant amount of weight in some of your friendships. You expect more from your friends than they are able to produce, and when they reveal to you their limitations you are deeply disheartened and depressed. This is extremely unnecessary. I’m not advising you to relieve them of their duties as your friend and adopt a better selection process, but I encourage you to recognize the function each friend serves in your life.

The simply fact is this: the people that come in your life do so for different purposes. Everyone doesn’t share the same role and thus you should not have the same expectation of everyone. Your mission is to figure out why that person has been sent to you and to make sure you get the lesson they were sent to provide. I have this one friend who is just a complainer. She has a negative commentary for all of her life’s experiences and always feels compelled to share them. I used to avoid all conversation and interaction with her because I always knew where they would end: despair. But now I engage her because I know the purpose she serves in my life. She teaches me how to see the positive in every situation and, when I want to vent and see the negative, she’s always there with it. I don’t call her for any other purpose but for venting and I don’t hold her friendship to any other expectation because she would fail miserably.


You have many different types of friends: the friend that knows where all the good parties are; the friend that is a great conversationalist; the friend that can get you into any event; the friend that doesn’t take sh**; your ride or die friend; the friend that everyone wants to know; the friend that needs the most work; the friend that always makes you look good; the friend that’s down for whatever, whenever; the financially savvy friend; the dependable friend; the friend with the deep and generous pockets; the friend that provides encouragement; the friend that knows how and where to shop; the friend that always says the right thing; the friend with the extensive contact list; etc.

And everyone can’t be your close friend because there can only be a select few that can give you the things you need at every moment of your life. So be careful who you let into the deepest recesses of your heart - you may unknowingly be training your heart to play the wrong role for your life.

I do not advocate informing your friends of the categories you place them in. I do not want to see as someone’s Facebook profile picture a montage of characteristics that describe the roles you ascribe to your friends and then a listing of tagged friends that fit those traits. You’re party friends do not need to know that you only call them when you want to go out and get pissed drunk….but I bet you that they secretly know their role in your life and are happy with playing that role. If they were unsatisfied with their function they would have done something to change their role by now.

So the moral of this story is: KNOW THE ROLE OF YOUR FRIENDS and stop holding them to expectations you know they will never meet.